The ephemeral relationship awaiting eternity

It was long ago, I’d been thinking of writing you a letter. But, after many years, I’ve never even written you one.

It makes me feel like some kind of betises in life. I make a lot of mistakes, most of them I don’t think I should not be regretted for, so I settle and prepare myself to answer for that. Recently, from time to time, I’ve been thinking of you a lot. Once in a while, I would indulge myself to think of you, the scenes of the last episode always haunt on my mind to recall the days you were lying abed.

The neuron illness caused so much damage to your brain, when the despair of your eyes were looking at the far corner of the room, with a hail of screaming sounded like some sort of apparitions from Hades were coming to you. I would grasp your hand and told you: don’t be frighten, if they are coming to get you, they have to get me first. I grasped both of your hands; it was really a matter that had taken me aback in the first time. I felt a cold current ran through my back.

When the neuron expert couldn’t find out what was happening to your brain, I started to realize it would be sooner or later, of the wide world, finally I have to be alone, no one could I turn to, all by myself.

In and out hospital, you became weaker and weaker. I was in the beginning of my career. It seemed a booming future was ahead of us, but you was conquered and defeated by the hand of fate which blew off my entire plan. Might there be another chance could I pay you for a trip, taking you to, picking you up with a Merc at the air-port?

The sense of being helpless drove me much anguish, it seemed it was God who turned me down. If the omnipotence would take my ten years to you, please do so or do whatever on me. By seeing your dilapidated body faded to its bone, could I control myself not to ask for what reason why the omnipresence would not listen to my prayer? It went evanescence.

Everyday when I returned home from work, you were haggard lying on bed; hollow eyes were looking over the windows. A sip of water or juice was all you could take. Life was struggling to survive but it withered in front of my eyes.

As I held your hands in the night when you mumbled words which hardly could be reckoned, the moaning or screaming seemed some kind of spirits was approaching near to force taking you away, then I started to look at every corner of the room and I couldn’t help but pray. Please take me, if you would not take me, please give him a chance and save him, don’t you know I need him? Or are you taking him to the Elysium? But this only means I would have no chance to see him anymore on this wide world!

Nowhere could release me from frustration and distress except to the bathroom in front of the mirror where I looked at myself. I would never shed one more drop of tear again unless the Almighty favored him the mercy that one humble man should get as he deserved. Can this warrant be summoned later?

Everyone lost a father, but was it too soon to let go your hand? It was all in a sudden. Could I have another opportunity to sit beside you in the tranquil night after dinner, with a cigar in your hand, listening to music? It would have no more chance. I would not see you anymore! Not saying my father would see me no more!

And I know, from that time forth, whenever I return home, I won’t have a chance to greet you by saying: daddy, it’s me.

The rising sun. The frozen memory. The summer wind blows. The winter snow falls.

One find day when I could have found you in the eternity of immortality, I would tell you how much I miss you! And we shall go another journey of odyssey with your hand in mine.

.............................................................................. one of my father's favourite song 明月千里寄相思...吳鶯音

The condolences to a passing friend

When we were young, he was the most brave among friends, it seemed that he would prepare to dare anything and afraid of nothing. Once in a day’s journey to Lion Rock Mountain we lost in the maze of rocks, with much bewilderment to know that we were trapped in wilderness amid the middle of Lion Rock Head, seeing no way could we get access down hill but a little hope to continue up, he was the first one to take a challenge, he did always. When he got to the summit, my following up feet were shivering in full motion, with a not too pale face, I hoped, that it even could not be sitting its body down for quite a while.

Certainly he was the first one to pick up girls in our days of puberty. Gosh! Me? I talked bull-shit (excuse me) all the time and acted like a yo-yo school boy, I mean a grade ten in the age of about 20. That was the reason I tried to sneak out with a girl whom he knew initially.

Phew, if she does like you, you go on. Edmund told me.

Of course, she would never like me, especially the way I talked.

Instead of that, we did talk heartily, how many nights, we talked this and that kind of funny stuffs, whatever subjects we could think of over in phone until dawn, if chances failed us to get together. We were both very chatty, but he was so humorous and to some certain extent, very positive.

It was until one night he sojourned in my tiny little room where we encountered incidentally a mouse. Did I almost scream I might not be able to recall, but, yes, we were both made an ass of ourselves. (Forgive my illicit hypothesis, dear friend.)

Those were the days, the famous old song reminds us. Life itself has only limited time; we have to look always forward, constant craving. When time finally comes to drift us apart with the magic hand of mortality, may I have your attention that I won’t be too far away from you. Where ever you may be in heaven or limbo, I will sure be with you because I don’t have any regret in this friendship between us, even if it would possibly dwindle with the acerbity of life cruel experiences. And if ever did I offend you for nine times, please keep in reminiscence ardently might there be one time have I been good to you.

Adieu, my friend, adieu.

.................................................................................. One of the favourite song of Edmund, and us. The Shadows...Apache

............Another favourite song of Edmund, and us.

Autumn

The tranquil early morning is broken by the sweeping sound of yellow leaves. ......01:35:51 09/12/05 Mon